Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection


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Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection

This rejection made Saul angry with David, and jealous of him. The very next day, an evil spirit came upon Saul and caused him to become exceedingly angry, to the point of attempting to murder David! Now there's some ugly fruit that all started with rejection.


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It wasn't rejection that opened Saul up to the evil spirit, but rather his reaction to his rejection. The same is true when a person becomes stubborn or rebellious, or any other ungodly reaction to rejection. The rejection isn't the sin, but their reaction can be a serious sin. This can open the person up to unclean spirits, and lead them down the path of destruction. God's Word puts stubbornness and rebellion, for example, in the same category as witchcraft and idol worship! For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.

Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king. The root of rejection is actually incredibly simple: damage from rejection is the result of a misplaced identity. Whenever we base our identity on somebody or something other than what God's Word has to say about us, we make ourselves vulnerable to the damage of rejection.

Many of us will base our identity on what our parents, teachers, or friends think of us.

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This sets a lot of children up for Performance Orientation bondages later in life, because their parents give them conditional love based on their grades or performance. What or who defines who you are? Is it your job? Is it what your parents thought or think of you? Is it what your friends think of you? Is it how well you perform in the workplace? How much money you have? Is it how good of grades you get? Is it what you think of yourself? Is it how physically strong, fit, or tall you are? When you die, will those things continue to define who you are?

Rejection and rising above rejection is all about identity and what you base your identity upon. The key to overcoming rejection, is to solve the identity problems. Let's say that you are basing your identity on what your mother and father think of you. Now the moment that any hint of disapproval comes from them concerning you, that is going to hurt because they are the source of your identity.

Anytime we base our identity on what we think of ourselves, or what others think of us, we are virtually trusting that person with our identity. Not even ourselves are capable of truly determining who we are; only God is qualified for that job. That is why it is absolutely vital for us to understand the person that God has made in us, and who we are as new creations in Christ Jesus.

We were never made to live apart from God or base our identity on things of this world. When we base our identity upon what the Word of God has to say about us, we will become virtually rejection-proof. We can become immune from the wounds of rejection as long as we are not basing our identity upon what that person thinks of us. The closer a person is to you, the deeper their rejection can wound you. Authority figures are also able to deeply wound you, because you look upto them and rely upon them. Parents often pass rejection on to their children when they say things such as, "I'll love you when you get good grades.

Whether you love or hate a person doesn't immune anybody from rejection. You can literally want to kill somebody, but still be affected by their rejection. The question is, are you looking to them for approval? Are you basing your identity upon what they think of you? Does their approval of you give your life meaning and purpose? A person's age also has a lot to do with their vulnerability to rejection.

Children are especially vulnerable to the damage of rejection, because they are still developing their identity and learning about who they are. A lot of damage is done by peers in school. Either your too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, you have brown eyes when you should have blue eyes Insecure children can be very cruel and damage other children through rejection. Because their own identity is not based on the right things. They do not know who they really are, or who they are called to be, so they go around putting other kids down to make themselves feel better.

If they knew who they were in Christ, it would be an entirely different story!

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They would seek to edify other kids, and help them find their identity and calling as well. Is it possible to receive rejection from a child or even grandchild? Nobody is immune, providing that they are basing their identity on what that other person thinks of them. You can be years old, and be damaged by the rejection of a caretaker. As I mentioned earlier, it is vital that we base our identity, who we are, upon what God's Word says about us.

When we do, we become virtually immune from the devastating and hurtful effects of rejection. God promises never to leave or forsake us, so when our identity is based upon what He says of us, we can be assured that we're not going to face rejection coming from Him. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews I could go on and on, because the Word of God is so rich and powerful in helping us define who we are in Christ.

One of my favorite books to recommend when it comes to this subject is Victory over Darkness by Neil T. His book on this subject is an incredible tool to change the way we see ourselves through the eyes of God's Word. There's one verse in Psalms that really puts the light on how we can be freed from the devastating effects of rejection:. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Psalms Overcoming religious strongholds is necessary to overcome the effects of rejection. You're not going to settle rejection issues fully until you get it down into your spirit that you are accepted, loved, and appreciated by God. Dealing with religious strongholds is vital to this process, as religion paints God as distant, cold, and impersonal.

Bringing your relationship with God into proper perspective is a vital step in the process of overcoming the strongholds of rejection. Tearing down the strongholds of rejection is as simple as merely receiving, with childlike faith, what God's Word has to say about your identity, who you are as a new creature in Christ, who is called to life, purpose, and meaning in Christ.


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Intensional rejection is basically emotional abuse in it's most simple form. It wounds a person's spirit, sometimes slightly, other times those wounds can be deep and very painful.

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God's Remedy For Rejection

Those wounds must be healed, and there are some articles on this site which address the subject of inner healing which can be very helpful in this healing process:. The one thing that you absolutely cannot overlook is correcting your identity. You need to start seeing yourself for who you are in Christ, and the person that God has really formed within you. Your identity must come from Him and what His Word says about you. We love darkness rather than light.

This leads to a second significant truth about sin: Our sin problem is far deeper than we ever imagined. The Bible does not teach that we are basically good people who need to overcome a few flaws in our character. All of these approaches to sin are too superficial from a biblical standpoint. This phrase also shows us a third truth about sin: The reason that people reject Christ is not primarily intellectual, but moral. Unbelievers do not love darkness rather than light because they have thought it through carefully and concluded that darkness makes more sense.

No, unbelievers love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil. The light exposes their evil deeds and convicts them of their true moral guilt before the holy God. But, frankly, they like sinning! Aldous Huxley, the famous atheist of the last century, once admitted that his rejection of Christianity stemmed from his desire to sin.

He wrote Ends and Means [Garland Publishers], pp. I had motives for not wanting the world to have a meaning; consequently assumed that it had not; and was able without any difficulty to find satisfying reasons for this assumption. The philosopher who finds no meaning for this world is not concerned exclusively with the problem of pure metaphysics; he is also concerned to prove that there is no valid reason why he personally should not do as he wants to…. For myself … the philosophy of meaninglessness was essentially an instrument of liberation, sexual and political.

His main problem is that he loves his sin and he stands guilty before the holy Judge of the universe. But I am saying that they are usually not the real issue.

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But most people are not evil. Just look at all the good people in this world! The Bible acknowledges that there are unbelievers who are relatively good people. The human race would have self-destructed millennia ago if everyone acted as badly as they could. God restrains outward evil through civil government, through social disapproval, and through the fear of shame and the desire to look good to others. But God looks on the heart.

But the situation of loving darkness rather than light is far worse than just loving sin:. They hate the One who out of love offered Himself on the cross so that every sinner might not perish but have eternal life simply by believing in Him! They hate Him because He exposes their evil deeds. Sam is polite to the teacher.

Sam always does his homework. We need to understand several things about this verse. First, John does not mean that all sinners do their evil deeds in secret. Many do, of course. Many otherwise respectable men would never frequent a strip club in their own city, for fear of being seen. But in our day, when people call good evil and evil good Isa. Movie stars and other celebrities go on television to tell about their immoral behavior. John is merely pointing out that such sinners do not come to the Light Jesus because they know that He would condemn their behavior as evil.

Second, John does not say that those who practice evil are neutral toward Jesus ; r ather, they hate Him. Many unbelievers would object. They think that Jesus was a good man. Consider this a streets-smarts guide to infidelity. It is not a Christian perspective per se and is full of vulgar language—author explains why in the beginning. It does give helpful theories of understanding the experience, though. She calls a spade a spade and is very straight-forward about infidelity. Recommended as a book to process the lies and manipulations of cheaters. David Clarke.

Excellent Biblical approach to infidelity. I do not necessarily agree with everything it says about situations beyond infidelity. However, I strongly endorse Dr. Glass, Ph. Glass calls this one. If reconciliation is in the future, pastors and faithful spouses need to read this first. This book tackles the problem of suffering from a Christian perspective. It is an excellent, Biblical resource that does not fall into the simple answers camp. I found it a very healing read. A shorter and updated version of this material by the same author can be found under the title: T he Question That Never Goes Away.

I found it wise and helpful for me as I walked through the confusing time of adultery discovery and divorce. The author of the Narnia Series among other great Christian books writes out his thoughts and feelings surrounding the death of his wife.

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It is raw and beautiful in its rawness. Initially, he published it under a different name because of that. It is written by someone who has been on both sides of adultery. And it is not necessarily written from a Christian perspective but does reinforce how adultery is not a good choice and has awful consequences for all. Just wondering if you also see other forms of domestic abuse as grounds for divorce, not just infidelity?

I spent a lot of time at the Crying out For Justice website, because it is the evangelical answer to those of us trapped in domestic abuse which may not include cheating. God does care, and He does bless us.

Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection
Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection
Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection
Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection
Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection
Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection
Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection
Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection Rejection Exposed: Understanding the Root and Fruit of Rejection

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